It’s 2030 and I’m Growing Fake Pigs

Photo by Kenneth Schipper Vera on Unsplash

All my life I’ve farmed real mammals. I’m an expert in the snuffling, snouty, somewhat hairless kind. For 72 years tofu didn’t enter the postcode area let alone the house. Then, in 2022, I woke up.

I woke up a tired man. I guess I was getting old, or something, but mostly I think it was a psychosomatic effect of being sick of chasing escaped pigs. When you’ve pursued rogue porkers all your life, you…